Funeral

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Hustle and Bustle
They all seem dead
Dancing on their funerals
Rejoicing in their nothingness
As time goes by…

Are you still here
Or was it just a dream
In which you were lying beside me
Staring into the darkness
Holding each other’s hands
Interlacing our fingers
Whilst whispering into space
That lay infinite before us

Are you still here, my love
or was just a dream, where
Every face was a beloved’s face
It wasn’t any other silence
Or the silence of the silence
but the silence of my own heart
And in that silence
I heard the moan of my beloved’s sigh
We both smothered in sweat with
Your glistening body
Rubbing against mine
Burning me to my soul
Your every act a Hallelujah. Whereas
I’m a nobody
I associate with empty corners of my room
Slowly twisting and turning
in the cold curves of my empty sheets
Just like every other night, or
Is it just a dream…

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An Unknown Darkness

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A little girl, dancing in the rain

Free from life’s all losses or gains

Innocent she was, with a lovely smile

Life had never put her on any trial.

 

Running all through the garden

The butterflies were all her friends

With the trees, she played

Here and there she only swayed.

 

With a sad sigh

Tears fell from her eyes,

As she turned to the next page

A page from the book of her life.

 

There she was, laughing and giggling

Running here and there, and sweetly singing

Popular among the friends

She adored her life.

 

The darkness grew

She herself never knew

The light all gone

She became forever alone.

 

Hiding from the world

She grew in herself

Surrounded by the darkness

Everything became meaningless.

 

Afraid of the dark

She never knew

One day this darkness

Would be the only thing she’d known.

 

An unknown darkness

Is what she named it

Pretty sure of the dark, endless

Her eyes became used to it.

 

She was an innocent butterfly

Who flew away

With all the colours

Left with the memories to sway.

 

She put aside the book of her life

Blew away the candle, put on her side

So that once again, she could hide

Into the darkness, where she died

 

 

I am a Lonely Cloud

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With the bright shining and smiling sun,
I left my home.
From the oceans,
lakes and rivers,
that were playing with the grass
and trees around,
I gradually began to rise.
I had to go high up to the sky.
I had to leave my home although
I was so young and immature
to be left alone
to the brutal environment.
I had to face so many difficulties
before reaching the sky.
Although, I was too overfilled,
I couldn’t cry.
For as there is a time
specified to shed tears.
I rose, rose and rose,
but on my way,
I had that killing harshness
of the sun to bear,
it hurt me a lot
but what to do,
I had to benefit the trees,
the grass and
the people.
Because that’s my fate,
killing my own self
to benefit the others.
Maybe one day
or the other
I would be rewarded for that.
I travelled miles of the harsh
and unmerciful journey and
eventually I reached the sky.
I had the power to cover
the brutal sun and
stop it from harming other.
So, I did.
I burned myself spreading on the sky.
Eventually, when I was enough tortured,
I started to cry.
I cried,
cried, and
cried too much.
Everything and everyone became happy
watching me cry.
I nourished everything and
eventually
lost myself to death!
Now I am no more
because I was just
a lonely cloud…

Amidst the Crowd

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When I’m forced to sit with them
I feel lonely
Lonely amidst the crowd
I do not enjoy
I cannot laugh
I do not have a good time
I try to seem okay
But I can only try
Raising two invisible fingers on the edge of my lips
And lift them up, slightly
Fake smiles do work
That’s the best I could do
Which is also the worst
Trying to fit in.
I see them with happy faces
Their each laugh, made them forget
About their melancholic nights
They try to cure me too
But it’s just not my medicine
Maybe
Maybe I don’t ever want to be cured
Maybe I feel already at home
In my barren boughs
With rough barks
Smothered with rusted leaves
That smells of my blood
Hence the moon mourns every night
Strangled by the deceptive clouds
The stars beat their chest with every might
And then the mighty sun rises to kill its own light
I am an empty void
Bursting with an unknown emptiness
A Nobody!

There must be at least one comedian in the crowd
Lest you want to be under the spotlight
With questions that are hollow
‘Why are you silent?’
‘Why are you so sad?’
I can’t help but wonder,
‘Why do you talk so much?’
‘Aren’t you all?’

But sometimes when I catch them staring at me
From the corner of their eyes
They look away as though caught stealing
But they do see something that they’re afraid of seeing
In themselves
Even though it exists in all of them
Yet they deny
They run
They hide
But for how long?
How long, indeed…

 

No matter…

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No matter how brave I become

My heart feels afraid of letting go

Fear of loss? No

Fear of the tears that would fall

In your absence

Time would heal the broken

Dry the tears

Hide the feelings, hidden

That almost no one hears

But time won’t make

The courage it would take

Of the coward

To let go, of all the fears it has hidden!

A coward inside

Trying to become brave

Just to say in the end

It was you whom I never betrayed!

No matter how brave I become

No matter how good I pretend

I still care, and would, till the end

For as my heart doesn’t obey me anymore

The tree and the grass, had to let go

One below and the other above

As the autumn had finally arrived,

To end the endless love!

When She says…

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When she says she loves you

The words won’t utter out as you hope

Silent tears would fall down

Whenever she’ll have a sight of you

 

Looking from the corner of the room

She’ll stare at you, with whole her heart

A heart filled with all the gloom

Silent tears, she’d be smiling, yet torn apart

 

When she says she loves you

She wouldn’t be lying in her heart

Because it took a lot of courage, of her

To disown her very own heart

 

Her heart won’t beat for her anymore

Her eyes would follow you wherever you are

Her gentle touch would be all filled with love

Yet she won’t speak, those words to utter

 

She won’t be breathing for herself anymore

She won’t be having a heart of her own

She won’t be capable of giving herself to anyone else

Yet she won’t have the courage, those words to utter

 

She’d silently cry sitting alone

She won’t be having a heart of her own

She disowned it just for you

Won’t ever would she be courageous enough to tell you!

When he says…

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When a boy says, he loves you
He wouldn’t be saying it to you directly
Rather, he’d be looking at the sky
Drunk by the vision of the blooming moon
He’d see your face in it
Your eyes in a sky full of stars

When a boy says, he loves you
Staring in your eyes
And if you could just hold back your river
And look into his eyes
You’ll see what spring does to a cherry tree
You’ll see when he says he loves you
He really means it

You must return his love
If you don’t love him
Don’t tell him that;
He is not the right person
He is not what you’re looking for
He is just a friend
He doesn’t know what love is
I am not ready yet
I need some time to think
I need to be alone
I cannot do this anymore
I have enough of this joke.
You shouldn’t say all those things to him
But if you did,
Stand there and look in his eyes
Don’t feel sorry for him
Just stand there and look
Look at all those tears of your name
For your love
Stand and Look
Do not turn your back
Do not walk away
Do not think for a second
That he is one of those boys
Who thought he loved you
And will forget you
That he is just a boy
A stupid little boy
Just another boy
Who got lost in the whirl
Of the dancing dervish
And you
Didn’t even notice