To know of my current situation, you must know what brought me here after three years on the very same place which changed my life. It’s almost been a year since I started this blog. The reason for writing this blog was love and rage. Why love and rage? Strange, isn’t it? Well, there’s a story, I must say a long story. It’s a story, a kind of story which can’t be summed up into few scribbles of words or told to someone in their first meeting. I’m not saying it’s a fable about someone in following his dream, or falling in love, facing heart bleed obstacles, facing fear of failure, having a nervous-breakdown in front of an audience, finding a new home, understanding a universal language. It’s the story of being a back to back Ravian. It’s a story from 719 to 315. It’s the story of my life from Gc to Gcu. I will try to be as precise as possible, not to make you feel so bored. Just a quick story about myself.
When I was sixteen my life was changed forever.
I studied in the best college of Pakistan. The college, where students from all over the country came to enroll themselves in but only very few gets the chance to get admission because of its high merit. I wanted to pursue my career in medical but I also wanted to study in Government College. I got five short of 95% to get into pre-medical program. Either I had to change my field of interest to get admission in the college or I had to change the college to go in the desired field. I chose the former. And soon I realized that it was one of the best decisions of my life.
I was very lucky to study in the “dream college” or between the “creme of all Pakistan“. This place was everything and way better than whatever I imagined. I made full use of the opportunity and blend myself in different societies and extra and co-curricular activities. It was there that I came to realize that studies are, of course, important but they only make the one tenth of education. There is more to education than just course studies. While the true purpose of education was to think for yourself. Not to prepare oneself for the future life but to pay heed to the present and dig down your inner self and find out who do you want to be, not what your teachers or parents wants you to be, but you. I met students and teachers having extraordinary minds who only talked about different ideas, individuality, compatibility, and creativity. It was all new to me. The environment. The atmosphere. I was loving every single second of my existence. All of these, changes, were happening so fast that the journey was just one step away before coming to an end.
The second and last year of college started off with a bang. I believe that every student has a true mentor who truly enlightens and ignites the flames of who-do-you-want-to-be. Time has a funny way with forgetfulness because time is making fool of us again and again. I only remember his one speech which was something like, Life is too short to listen to what others have to say, what others want you to be. Say what you want to say. Do what you want to do. Be who you want to be. Learn to love the true one, the lucky one in your life and never ever let her go. Just be awesome in your own ways, in your own flow, in your own eyes because only one thing will matter in the end—You.
Who was he of my life. He was the O Captain, my Captain of my life. Under his shadow I came to realize that all I wanted to do is just read and write. A writer. In a society where only two kinds of students live, either they want to be a doctor or an engineer (not because they want to do rather they think they want to do it, in the end, not knowing what to do) Any other field other than that was just, as people say, has no future. Which, no doubt, was true. I was very lucky to decide what I want to do with my life not knowing at that time that making a decision for your career was the easiest part.
My best two years of life came to an end with the evergreen last day celebration in college. Now it was time to farewell college, and a time to choose the desired career field with the best university—the most difficult time for every student of Pakistan.
It was very hard to convince my parents to let me decide for my own field. It was hard convincing them that I wanted to be a writer answering every rebuttal possible. In the end, all they could muster was, it’s your life, which meant: Do whatever you want to do but we don’t support you.
So I applied in the best literature university in Pakistan—Government College University, and aced the test while I was left out in the interview considering I wasn’t good enough to qualify for this year English lit programme. My roller coaster ride abruptly went downhill leaving me breathless and with nasty scars. I was very publicly out. And then started the most miserable time of my life.
First of all, the rejection was very unbearable. Being rejected from the same institute where you spent your two years was incomprehensible. And then started the criticism of parents. Every word was like a sharp blow of a steel knife. The I-told-you-so beaming looks from their eyes. I was angry and miserable. My whole career was in jeopardy even before it began. My dreams in thousand tiny invisible pieces, my goals buried under the word-rejection, everything in ruin, and rightly so-everything in ashes.
It’s true that, “In the darkest days, God puts the best people in your life.” I met an angel who gave me a shoulder to cry on, wings to fly with and a new road of positivity, aspiration. Who, in short, made me believe in the light at the end of the dark tunnel. For that cupid, I started writing. The rage of getting rejected and love of being accepted, things starts happening when fire meets water.
A whole year passed which made me believe in myself and in my vision. Just like my fight song, I inspire myself. I stand by my side. I never leave myself alone. Moreover, I stay strong for myself because at the end of the day, it’s just you, yourself for yourself. The admissions reopened this fall and I applied in the same program in the same university. And I cleared both the written test and interview. Had I been enrolled last year; I wouldn’t have known the value of it. You get the best kind of feeling, which is indescribable, when you realize your destiny and didn’t let the obstacles, the voices of others stop you from realizing your personal legend in following your dream.
Sitting in the same classroom on the same bench where I carved out my dream, and writing this story made me realize that everything happens for a reason, we may don’t see it at that point but it’s the best path God has chosen for us. Looking back on that day when my life was turned to hell, I can say for sure that being rejected from here last year was the best thing that could ever happen to me. I still believe that I’m just at the beginning and have a very long road to travel. I don’t know where this journey will take me but I know this is where it all begins.
—Manuscript: Road from Gc to Gcu by Muhammad Shahroz