All of Me

I’m glad you didn’t love me

Posted on


I never loved someone as selflessly
No one told me how to love
Movies taught me a shade of it
A fake shade of it though
They showed me that someone who loves with all their heart
Always finds the one they love
But they never showed me how to stand up
When I had badly fallen in love with the person that doesn’t love me back
Why didn’t they tell you what to do when the only person you have ever loved in your love and the only person you think you’ll ever love doesn’t love you back
So, thank you so much for teaching me something that no movie could ever teach me

I knew that you were the desire of many
I could see in their eyes
I tried to protect you from their filthy disgust
But you were the want of only one
Such a want with which I couldn’t survive
I was hungry for love
Not just any love
But for your love
My love for you was priceless
A love no one has ever seen
I wrote poems after poem on your exquisite beauty which only I could see
Which was visible only to me
Hoping that you’d realize my true love for you
I tried to look you, admire you, turn you into words in every form
I bled when you didn’t even cast a look
Even though you knew someone loved you the most

So when you didn’t love me in spite of me loving you madly
I thought there was something wrong with me, I really did
I tried to beat myself up over it
To find out what was wrong with me
I still remember those hollow nights
With air full of haunting thoughts
And suicidal urges

There was nothing wrong with me. I realized
Because It wasn’t you that I loved
It was me
It was me all along
That I loved
When I was with you
I missed myself more than you
I showed myself that part of me that I never knew existed
And all along I thought it was you
A part that I loved the most.
It wasn’t me that wasn’t worthy of your love
It was you.

I will love again
I will find someone again
Someone might be just like you
I will fall deeper in love again
I thought I wouldn’t survive without your love
But I did survive
I’m still alive
I’m still breathing
I’m glad you didn’t love me