Letting go

The Locked Door

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I fell in love with her even before she entered the room. I saw a reflection of her through the window of the room. That one glance, that one second was the moment of forever of my life. As she entered the room, I was completely immobilized. I felt like I was waiting for this moment since my whole life. My whole life has come to this precise moment. My heart beat began to rise. I was afraid that she might hear. She might hear what my heart was telling her. My heart was betraying me. My heart loved her more than I ever did. I felt happy and sad at the same time: she didn’t know how much I loved her, and she never will as I waited too long to tell her what I felt.

She was flawless in every way. Flawless in the way the wind played with her hair, flawless in the way the sun shone in her eyes, and flawless in the way her whole face illuminated when the sun casts its beauty on the moon of my life. She was the storm and I was just a boy who was so terrified to swim in its waves. She was the rose and I was just a boy who never paid heed to its thorns. She was that bright star of my life that every step, every path of mine led to her. She didn’t know that and she never will as I waited too long.

Suddenly, the door opened and floods of darkness fell over me. The security guard was terrified to see me sitting in the classroom so late in the night, alone. He was asking me something, there was a look of anger and fear in his eyes but I just walked out of the room and never looked back.

I’m Sorry

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I love you, and
I’m not sorry for that.
I’m sorry that your feelings are hurt,
I’m sorry that I broke your trust,
I’m sorry that my promises were null,
I’m sorry for all those tears that rolled down your warm dimpled cheeks,
I’m sorry that you’re lonely in amidst a crowded room,
I’m sorry that you had to walk this road alone,
I’m sorry that death set us apart,
I know that you’ll never be mine,
I know that we’ll never be together,

and this time I was the victim of the fate,
I’m sorry that this distance cannot be lessened,
I’m sorry for everything that I should be sorry for. But
I was born to love you, and you alone,
in this world, and the world hereafter; and
I’m not sorry
that I fall in love with you..

Ever since you left

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Ever since you left my love
This place hasn’t been the same.
Now I know
it is hard for you to leave
but it is even harder for me; the one who stayed behind.
I don’t know how to tell you
how I feel.

Those long walks in oval, hand in hand
wild carefree laughs in Apmhi
shy glances in Shahab
love songs in love-garden.
It all seems like a long distant memory
of an imaginary world
where there was just you and me
our own little world
which we created
with our own hands.

Ever since you left my love
I see this world with a bitter reality
Reality which fell this world apart.
This world doesn’t make any sense anymore
A world full of people who just exists.

They are running.
They all are running
in a circle, chasing their tails
until death takes them into its embrace
and opened their eyes in their graves.
Now I am alone
All alone
Ever since you left, my love
ever since you left…